Your Baby (& you) will be Just Fine!

Returning to work after your maternity leave

“I am returning to work after my maternity leave. Do you have any advice?”

This question arose from a new mom in the audience during a panel I participated in. That question was accompanied by a palpable sense of stress and uncertainty, feelings many working mothers could relate to.

An overwhelming wave of empathy and support surged in response to this new mom. Both the panelists and the audience echoed the same statement. “You will be fine.”

Planning

It’s been over 16 years since I had my first maternity leave, yet I vividly remember presenting a PowerPoint to my CEO when I announced my pregnancy.

It addressed questions that I expected to flood his mind. Who will step in as my deputy? How do I prepare them? Which projects should be fast-tracked or delayed to accommodate my leave? How long would I be away?

Like any project planning provides clarity. Presenting in a format familiar to my CEO helped ease the initial shock (What will I do without Elaine?) and allowed us to align on a plan.

I also had a bit of luck on my side when it came to planning. I closed a deal on Friday at 5PM (money in the bank!) and became a mom three days later.

Beyond a plan at work, I needed a domestic plan.

At the top of the list was how to continue breastfeeding. There was a stockpile plan. My freezer was the jackpot. (That’s probably one of the most difficult projects that no one warns you about.)

Often we neglected one of the most critical members on the team…the stay-at-home parent. In my case, it was my husband. He was surrounded by a household of females: an emotional wife; a crying daughter; busy caregivers. I needed to recongize that he, too, deserved a break.

Goals

“Set your boundaries” advised by a father of five.

I informed my colleagues that I would not be available from 5 to 8PM. Establishing this boundary help them to my schedule - I needed to help them to help me.

We need to give our collegaues the benefit of doubt that sometimes they are too busy to pause to think about our changed circumstance. Once they are reminded, we must believe everyone has a level of empathy. Who would have the guts to say no to reasonable boundaries? You must have the guts to set them.

Resources

Living in Asia has its advantages including access to affordable caregivers. Building a support system with grandparents, daycare and domestic help, is invaluable.

Managing a team of caregivers can be challenging. To minimize friction, provide caregivers with access to data to avoid confusion. When and how much was the last feeding? When was the last diaper change? What is the sleep schedule?

You can conduct a trial run of a couple of days a week can ease the transition back to full time work. Starting with a trial period of part-time work can ease the transition back to full-time employment.

Even if your company does not support a part time transition, get out of the house and pretend you are going to work. This allows your support system to “step up” to a schedule after you return to work. The observation of the team performance can give you the peace of mind that things will not fall apart when you are not home.

It Takes Teamwork

Do the headers of this article sound familiar? Planning. Goals. Resources. Teamwork. These are success factors for this “project”. We have the skills to plan this. We have the skills to execute it. What we need is to remove the guilt that might overshadow our confidence.

It does take a village. Regular check-ins with the team are essential. What is working? What tweaks are required? How is everyone coping?

Consolation

It is essential to let go of any guilt and prioritze self care.

The baby does not need you 24/7. There is no shame in outsoucing diaper change, feeding and burping to a capable team. In the span of parenthood, I rather prioritize my support toward their teens - helping them with life challenges, forming good judgement and shaping their values.

Returing home from work to my children’s embrace, I am reminded that moms will always be needed. It’s about quality of time, not quantity.

With careful planning and support, returning to work after maternity leave is absolutely manageable.